Have you ever wanted something so bad when you were a child? Then you get it. It’s like a dream come true.

Have you ever wanted something so bad when you were a child? Then you get it. It’s like a dream come true.

That is how I felt December 2013. I published my first book “THE CROSSROADS” with Shadoe Publishing.  It was soon after I had published that I started to see things that gave me pause. I addressed these concerns right away.  The first being – my book “Heart of Fire” was published with the unedited version and the book jacket had the wrong name on it.

HoF bad cover

That was traumatic, and K’Anne Meinel joked about it. (saying I should laugh all the way to the bank).  I did not find it funny as this is my name on the books, and the readers hard earned money spent on junk.  She then went on to say, “It was an honest mistake and corrected it.”

Okay, I am all about giving someone second chances, as we are not all perfect.

I then continued to write, and publish another book under her, “HEART OF VENGEANCE” which as you can see from the above book, she put that title on the spine of Heart of Fire.  This book had little issues, other than editing which I addressed, so I was happy. Happy meaning, the book was published, but i was not happy  with the Publisher.

I had mistakenly become friends with her, we talked all the time. There were things she told me, things that made me feel sick inside, so much so, I could not stand talking to her, and I started to educate myself on how to self-publish.  Of course there  was a lot of research to do, but I was getting there. Yet, I was still not ready by the time I was ready to release my fourth book “OUT OF THE MIST” So, she published that one

Soon thereafter, I started to turn a blind eye to her (which means, I avoided talking to her on a personal level) Why?  When she went to PTown, and saw people there that she had issues with, all I heard while she was there, and afterwards, was negative remarks about them.  Also about ones who she befriended while she was there, (negative comments about their appearance) That is when it got worse.  Once as she got back, she started to formulate ideas on how to get revenge against these people – which (Gasp) she shared it with me.

At this point, I was done, I couldn’t take the negativity and the behavior anymore.   I was almost finished writing “THE FALLEN”  I was learning everything I could at this point about self-publishing, and picking the brains of those who were successful in their venture.

I was still not there yet. My confidence was not there. So, what did I do? You got it. I gave her that book as well.  Slaps head… I should have run after the issue with Heart of Fire.

The moment I gave it to her though, I advised it would be the last book she was getting from me.

Can we say vindictive behavior?  Yes it got ugly – soon thereafter, I had to remove her as admin of my group because she was banning people who would not sign a book contract with her. LBRC (Lesbian Book Readers Club) My group was not going to be used for her vindictive behavior.

Oh I know you are all wondering what happened next.  Well read on… That is when it got nasty. She posted hateful lies about me on Facebook, stalked my friends, friends that were not even her friends on Facebook. She was sending them messages trying to get them to side with her.

Soon after that, she bounced my royalty checks, then took a month to replace it.

bounced check

Oh yes, you got it. It gets even better… She then took it to a whole new level, she made a false claim to her family court system in Wisconsin, stating I would show up at her front door and do something to her.  Claiming she was afraid for her life….(Really?)

Of course I hired an attorney, who went to court for me, and it was thrown out, and the judge had a few choice words for her. I was on the phone during the hearing, from my home in Texas. I said two statements. In the beginning, “I do,” when being sworn in, and “Thank you” at the end. My attorney tore her apart on the stand.

As I said, I keep copies of everything.  As you recalled from my above statement, she is still my publisher for  5 books, she has to promote me and ensure my books are successful. This is what she tells people who try to promote my books in her group(s)

K'anne saying no posts for me in her group

So I guess I hurt her little (ice cold)  heart so she stewed. There was little she could do at this point.  That brings us to now…  I am the creator of Lesbian Book Readers Club (LBRC) on Facebook.  I support all Lesfic authors. I host a bi-weekly GRILLING session where the author answers questions and mingles with the readers. It’s a wonderful group.  Two times a year, we have a massive book giveaway. The authors donate books, and the readers enter in a chance to win.  At the end of these giveaways, I make a video, these videos are of the authors who contributed. K’Anne Meinel was one of these authors, and had supplied me with a clean copy of the book jackets. Now keep in mind, I have all this in writing. I keep everything.

If you would like to help me stop this woman. Please donate to the gofundme. All funds go to the legal process. Click on this link. GoFundMe

As I said above, she stewed, and as soon as I released My new book jacket for “THE AWAKENING”, and advertised my new publisher, K’Anne Meinel reported these videos to youtube as copyright infringement.

complaint youtube

Of course, Youtube has no idea if she is correct or not, so they suspended my account. I have no access to anything, not even the videos of my dead mother. Gloves are off over this. I see a civil suit very soon.

Why am I blogging this? One, to expel it from my brain. Two, so others know who are looking for a publisher and need to know so they don’t get mixed up as I had.

I have been victimized by this, but no more. I am ready to stand up, say, no more, and fight fire with fire.  The four pictures within this blog, are only a drop in the bucket to all that I have, but this would be a picture blog if I posted them all. If you are considering a publisher, please research, do not settle for just anyone publisher. Ask a lot of questions, you will know in your gut when you meet the right one. Don’t do what I did and jump into it blind.

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Pain that cannot be seen

pain

When you think of pain. What do you think it is? Is it something that shows on the outside, or something else totally?

I was one of those who used to say. But you look fine! It was not until I had not one, but two surgeries last year that had changed my line of thinking.

My story started while I was at work. I had aches that would not go away, and over time, they got worse. This prompted me to go to the doctor. Low and behold, there was a reason.  I had a mass growing in my humorous bone. (That is the bone that runs from your elbow up to your shoulder) Like always, doctors never react, they study and watch, and yes, lots and lots of tests follow that.

One month later, I had another CT scan, and the mass had grown an inch. The doctor was astounded and worried at this point, believing it was bone cancer. From there a date was set for surgery.

So what does one do until the date comes?  You continue to work and live your life.  That is when my life took another change. While at work, I was on the phone during my lunch in the breakroom.  I told the person I was talking to that I suddenly did not feel well. I had a tingling sensation run down my spine, back up and into my head.  I immediately hung up and walk back to my desk to get off my feet. I never made it to my desk, my legs gave out, and when I came to, I was being helped to a chair by co-workers. I was transported to the hospital, where they scanned my spin.  The results were baffling. I had a broken neck. I had been walking around for over a year, or longer with a broken neck, and had no idea. Sure I had headaches, but I just assumed they were the regular tension pains we get from daily life.

It turned out that the mass in my arm was causing the tissue and nerves to swell, as a result, it put pressure on my neck. The pressure caused the fractured bones to move and they were putting pressure on my spine.

I was taken to surgery, where I had all the bones in my neck replaced with cadaver bones. (I can now say, I have dead people in me) This was just the beginning. Within two weeks I was in surgery for my arm. They drilled in several places in my bone, removed the mass, and filled it with a substance to prevent it from fracturing.

The pathology report came back two weeks later.  Thank goodness, it was not cancer. Just a very aggressive cell that was eating the inside of my bone.

So, whew, I am relieved, and it was time to heal and get better. I then started physical therapy a month later. However, my arm refuses to move, nothing they did could get it to raise. It turned out, the month I was in traction, I developed frozen shoulder.  Once they knew the cause, they were unable to unfreeze my arm. Whew, another relief.

Each day from there, I went to physical therapy. The goal  was to regain the strength in my arm.  During this time, I kept experiencing more pain. The assumption was, I was regaining muscle and the muscle they cut was healing. Nice thought, if that was the whole reason.  It turned out, that the more we did, the worse it got. Another test, and low and behold. I had nerve damage. My hands, arms and fingers stopped working, they went numb, but being numb does not mean there is no pain. It was 50 times worse.

So, you would think, it’s okay. Take a pain killer and get past the worst of it.  I am one in thousands if not more who cannot take pharmaceutical pain killers. They make me violently ill. So, through my pains, surgeries and healing. I have taken Advil and like products. (Over the counter)

It has been a year and a half since my surgery, and I am better as far as moving my arms, doing little things.  I will never be able to do the things I used to do. I can no longer work a desk job, I cannot open bottles, and when the weather changes, I find sleep to be my only comfort.

Why am I sharing my experience?  I like so many, did not see beyond a person’s outer shell. So when I was told. I am in pain all the time.  I would just think to self. “Oh come on, you look find.”  I learned something through this, and it has been a humbling experience. If someone tells you they hurt, yet on the outside, they look great. Don’t question them, don’t think they are attention seeking, and don’t belittle what they are going through.  Internal pain does not always show.

Coming to a store near you “The Awakening”

I am pleased to announce.

The Awakening will soon be at a store near you.

Under a new Label/Publisher

Rose Quartz Publishing

 The Awakening GIF

Excerpt

What do you get when you combine a powerful immortal witch with an immortal warrior of the Gods in holy matrimony? An indestructible team.
Nira who was once a vampire made a pact with the Gods to fight the evil, and in return, she would regain her humanity and become an immortal warrior for the Gods.
Stephanie, who had just come into her powers, teamed up with Nira to destroy the chaos that reigned terror upon the streets. As promised the Gods bestowed immortality upon her.
Nira, along with her life partner Stephanie, had fought hard for centuries to keep the evils of the world abet. Coming full circle, history repeats itself, vengeance being the end game.
Pitted against time itself, they fervently search for the sources of evil. What they find in the darkness could destroy all hope for the future.